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<title>if I could get another chance (i'd play a song that would never ever end) by diazevan</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22694251">if I could get another chance (i'd play a song that would never ever end)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/diazevan/pseuds/diazevan'>diazevan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Buck's dad is a good dad, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Not Beta Read</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 10:35:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,034</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22694251</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/diazevan/pseuds/diazevan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The question takes him so off guard that Buck has blink at Christopher a couple of times, trying to get his mind to work again. </p><p>“Buck” The kid’s voice is patient, like always. “I asked you if you did Valentine’s Card for your dad too. In school”</p><p>or</p><p>Buck is able to talk about his dad, after a long time.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>260</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>if I could get another chance (i'd play a song that would never ever end)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>THIS IS A MESS I'M SORRY. I just had a lot of feelings about Buck having a good dad that passed away. SO BARE WITH ME.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The question takes him so off guard that Buck has blink at Christopher a couple of times, trying to get his mind to work again.</p><p>“Buck” The kid’s voice is patient, like always. “I asked you if you did Valentine’s Card for your dad too. In school”</p><p>Yeah, he got it the first time. Buck breaths, deep and long, and manages to make a smile for him, resting his back against the couch they are in. Maddie is <em>not here</em>, he remembers his brain and if he tries hard, Eddie can be heard doing the dishes in the kitchen. This is safe and Christopher is home.</p><p>“Yeah, I did” And just because he is feeling the memories unlock themselves, Buck is quick to open his arms. “Come here, buddie”</p><p>Christopher wastes no time in moving forward to the invitation, wrapping his arms around his torso so she can cuddle. It’s something that won’t ever fail to warm his heart, how easily Chris is able to provide him the comfort and peaceful that he is being searching almost all his life. He is already missing these days, knowing that at some point, he will be older and for sure have better things to do that to hang out with an old man like him.</p><p>It reminds him why he needed the hug.</p><p>“My dad loved anything I made for him, but he especially liked when I put a lot of blue on it. That was my Pop’s favorite color” His mom used to say about how it was the only color he knew apart from black and white, even when she later complimented how he looked on it. “He used to keep all that stuff in his desk at work, even when I told him it was a bit embarrassing. I wasn’t as good as you are” The boy giggles in his arms and there is another little sound that makes him turn around, just to see Eddie standing in the kitchen entrance. He has that weird expression he never gets to figure out, the one that makes his heart feel too big for his chest.</p><p>“Dad does that too”</p><p>His attention comes back to Christopher, a little bit dazed and honestly? He really needs a nap because he is too tired to be having so many feelings. “Yep, all of his locker is full of your drawings”</p><p>“To be fair, Buck’s locker is way worse” It’s the first time Eddie speaks and it’s unfair how easy it brings a smile to his face.</p><p>“What can I say? Peak art right, there”</p><p>Their chuckled combined makes him forget about the little mention of his dad until much later, when it’s just him and Eddie on the couch, a movie playing low on the background.</p><p>“First time I heard you talking about your father”</p><p>When Buck turns to look at him, Eddie’s posture is completely relaxed on his side of the couch, but his whole attention is on him. He knows he could tell his best friend that he doesn’t want to talk about it, that Eddie would drop it the second Buck asked, but it’s the first time he has the chance to share something like that with anyone else. It’s too tempting and his heart opens a little bit more, adjusts the other man a little better inside.</p><p>“I tried not doing when Maddie is around. Makes her sad” He shrugs, trying to rest importance to it, and he is left with the same bittersweet taste in his mouth that he knows so well. “When they did, she was already with Doug, so she couldn’t… I don’t want to make her feel guilty for something if I can help it”</p><p>There is a hand on his back, grounding him, and the brown on Eddie’s eyes is almost honey, warm and sweet and everything Buck needs.</p><p>“Do you want to talk about him?”</p><p>He does, so much it hurts him. His dad was his favorite person in the world since the day he was born, the superhero he wanted to be when he grew up, the very best friend he ever had. Andrew Buckley was everything to him and one day, to protect his sister, he had to put all of the memories he had of him, in the back of his mind. It feels disrespectful to his memory but he knew his old man, he always would want him to put Maddie first, especially after everything.</p><p>“He looked like Bobby” And that is another door full of pain and love, all tangled in the same place. “Damn, he <em>sounded</em> like Bobby” He has to clean his nose with the back of his hand, unable to suppress a smile. “And he always knew I was gonna get into trouble before I did. Said he was just like that when he was a kid” It’s so little information, such a peak of what a man his father was, but at the same time it’s more than he had shared with anyone else, even Abby.</p><p>“When I say you are a great dad, I mean it” He has to look at Eddie, to make him see in his eyes how much he meant it, just like he had done ages ago in his apartment.</p><p>( ‘<em>Buck, there's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you’</em>)</p><p>“Eddie, I know you are a good dad because I had one”</p><p>He sees Eddie take a deep breath, all the emotions moving on his face, until they settle in that kind of adoration he usually reserves for Christopher. It’s soothing, to know someone is looking at him that way and when the hand that was on his back moves to take his own, Buck squeezes it without a second thought.</p><p>“Thank you” Eddie’s voice is too much for him to do nothing, so he lifts their joined hands to press a kiss on the back of his partner’s, nodding at his words. He is not sure his voice would work, considering the lump in his throat.</p><p>Still, it feels like Eddie has taken some weight of his shoulders.</p><p>The Diaz boys seemed to be insanely good at that.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>follow me at diaz-evan at tumblr!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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